This is my school. I am right in the middle of the front row.

A New Watch

I decided to treat myself with a brand new watch. My last watch had accompanied me for over 10 years. A watch is never something I covet. Replacing my old one with the new was quite an emotional act, although I acted bravely in the jewelry shop when I put the new shiny watch on my wrist. It looks beautifully delicate on me. Putting on a new watch is a symbolic gesture; moving ahead into a new season, a new phase in my life. The old has gone, the new has come. Coming to the end of the year, I tend to become sentimental about many things that I usually take for granted during the year, like my old watch. December holiday is a time for us to reflect on the things that we may have neglected, or things that we have allowed ourselves to be accustomed to. I have many old watches which I have neglected over the year; friendships, personal well-ness, family, to name just a few. What old watches do you have?

Rainy Sunday

I love a rainy Sunday. It allows me to stay at home staring behind a glass window, watching every rain drop falling gently on the ground outside. It gives me an excuse to stay at home to enjoy a day of quietness and peace, without feeling the guilt of not socialising at a bring and braai. It brings a sense of freshness and renewal to my mind, giving me a clear perspective of the things I ponder upon. It encourages me to listen to my favourite music louder than usual; the tranquil backdrop modulates the loud music in the foreground. It motivates my husband to toil in the hot kitchen for a delicious lasagne without moaning about the heat too much. Life is good on a rainy Sunday.

Rugby

It is 9:08pm in South Africa. For the first time in my life, I am watching a Rugby game from its beginnning, probabably to its end. Perhaps it was peer pressure that I fianlly decided to watch the game. There are still so much for me to learn in order to fully understand the game. What I like about Rugby, particularly the world cup this year, is that it truely draws us all together as one people. Regardless of our differences, we all want our beautiful country to blossom, in the rugby filed and beyond. We get annoyed by our differences, yet in time like the Rugby world cup, it allows us to put aside our differences and focus on what makes us all proud to be South African. Tonight I can honestly say that I am "proudly South African".

The Secret

"Have you read The Secret?" Many people seem to be asking me this lately. Yes, I have watched the DVD. No I have not read the book. I wonder to myself, there is acutally no secret. Jesus has told us to choose life, not dead. A life that is abundant, with a promoise of all things we need for life and godliness; a life that will bear fruits and much fruits; a life that calls us to be the head and not the tail; a life that is like a city on the hill that cannot be hidden; a life that can bring light and salt to the world. There is no secret. He goes before us to level the mountains and open the gates of bronze and break the iron gates, to show us the riches in darkness and treasures in secret places. There is no secret! There is just a choice that has been laid before all of us. Choose life or dead.

Flower Arrangement

I took today's afternoon off. I deserved it. Instead of going shopping or for a cup a coffee, I visited a local florist - Rose Flowerland. It was not a typical florist where million different kinds of flowers beaming at you when you walk in. Instead it was a very simple and fresh-smelling shop space with two coffee tables. There were not a lot of flowers. What amazed me, however, was how skillful Rose was in using just a few stems and things to create a beautiful arrangement. I chose my flowers - lilies and roses, and the colour scheme - orange. Rose brought out a few stems of roses, a small bunch of lilies, some green leaves, and there she was skillfully putting these bits and pieces together into a beautiful arrangement. I was mesmerised by her natural way of handling the flowers, as if they were friends. Yes, she knows her flowers! She knows how to cut them, bend them twist them, hold them, position them... all is done by her gentle hands. We chatted as she was busy with the arrangement. I sat by the coffee table, not having any coffee but watching my arrangment come into being from just a few stems and twigs. It was like doing floral therapy. What makes this type of therapy special is that I get to bring home something nice. What a lovley way to spend my afternoon.

Moon Festival

Chinese people are quite sentimental. Once a year we set aside an evening to enjoy the full moon. I told my husband the story about the Moon Festival more than 100 times, but I still have to remind him every year. It's quite alright, because he likes my stories. But I think what matters most, is the time spent with friends and family. Most of the Chinese holidays and festivals are filled with tradition, food, fun rituals, all of which are for the entire family to partake. To observe all the festivals, a family gets together for at least four, five times over the year. I have missed these family gatherings in the last three years, since my husband and I have moved to Port Elizabeth. We have no family here. Like tongiht, it would just be an ordinary evening unless we make an effort to do something special. It is now up to us to uphold the family tradition and even develop our own. Hopefully one day we can pass it on to our children. Afterall, who does not want more excuses to have a party?

The reason to "blog"

Several of my friends have been blogging for some time. I failed to understand the purpose or pleasure in blogging initially. My perspective changed when I was introduced to Facebook. I began to realise the common need of all human beings - we all want to be in touch with other human beings, want to be acknowledged, want to be heard and seen. Blog is just another form of the same thing, giving us another space to show off, to share, and ultimately, want to be heard and seen. I have to say that I have grown to like blogging. This is my 4th entry in two days, although, I am on holiday. Time will tell if this blog spot will meet my deepest desire.

Vision

My husband lectures in a tertiary college in town on Wednesday and Thursday evenings. This is a well established college with a proper holding company and academias in the board of directors. Big visions and missions were written in the early days when the company was formed. Yet, what we have found tragic is that the heart beats of the founders were not transferred to the grass root. Years passed by, people who are good at administration are employed to run the individual colleges, but they are not people of vision. Without vision people perish. We are seeing our local college is loosing its edge, but the person in charge does not have the drive or inkling to turn it around. He is a person gifted in administration, very good at following a system. When the system needs to change to cope with the changes in the world, he no longer has the reference point to guide his action. He simply lacks the vision to take the college forward. Right now what they are doing is like disaster management. People who joined the college with zeal and passion are now leaving. My husband is a business enablement consultant. He has tried to speak with the person in charge in this local college, but in his eyes my husband is merely a lecture who does not know anything about administration. Little does he know that what he needs is not an administrative solution, but a strategic one. In life, we easily get bogged down by administrative needs and forget about our vision; purpose, destiny.

Frustration

Sometimes I get frustrated, I let out my frustration. Having the freedom of expression, in my mind, is an important ingredient to sanity. People who are the closest to me, however, may take my expressed feeling personally. They think I get frustrated with them, instead of the situation. This makes me feel insecure about expressing my feelings, particularly the negative ones. I know most of us like to think that our loved ones should be happy all the time. When they are not, we feel helpless and may start blaming ourselves for causing the unhappiness. This is very silly, but we do it nonetheless. Sometimes, being allowed to express our negative feelings such as frustration is more important than feeling happy all the time. I think this would be good to my sanity.

Mobile Clinic

I have been doing research (very informally) on mobile clinics around the world. This concept came into my mind a few years ago when I was thinking about our move to the Eastern Cape. I was in our previous home in Joburg, pondering on our future. At that stage, I knew nothing about the concept of mobile clinic. I didn't even know they existed. I only had some ideas about using a mobile unit to do outreach in disadvantages communities. I heard of the idea of converting a bus into a unit that can fold out into a stage, etc, in order to do children's outreach programme, etc.

So I started to imagine a mobile clinic for kids in the Eastern Cape. There are many rural or semi-rural communities wherne children do not have access to facilities. I am not a medical doctor, but my background in education and psychology allows me to imagine a mobile clinic that would provide mental health and educational services to the communities.

Life took over and for the last 2 years I was busy making a living, literally. For survival purposes, we sometimes put aside our dreams and do what is necessary. I must be honest, I have been very blessed to get involved in setting up a remedial school, which was one of my dreams too. I can't say it was all work and no fun. Just that the idea of the mobile clinic was no long on the forefront of my mind.... until recently.

All of a sudden I have been faced with the need to make our services at ELSEN more accessible and available to the community. Many children and teenagers sitting with their problems, not knowing where to find help. Our high schools in the Eastern Cape apparently have the highest teenage pragnancy rate. There are many drop outs. Early intervention is not a priority as far as the local government is concerned. The numbers of children with educational and mental problems are increasing.

I feel compeled to be a part of the solution to these problems, even though I can only play a small part; a very small part indeed. Having a mobile clinic to bring help and support to these young people, hopefully, can begin to make a difference in their lives. But to do something like this needs a considerable amount of planning and preparation. I am still in the research phase.